To my wife on Valentine’s day,
Maison, you know I hate this holiday and you also know me better than I know myself sometimes. I have to admit that this feels strange and invasive a lot of the time. But today I’m going to try letting go of control. Today I’m choosing to embrace a holiday for what it COULD be not what I think it is.
I’m taking this chance to celebrate a woman and a love that makes me feel so excitedly embarrassed and undeserving all at the same time. Embarrassed because I’ve never had to put feeling this strong into words or actions. The things I think and feel seem so elementary. Things adults wouldn’t do. Like shouting without saying a word and then holding you for the rest of the day. Things that if actually done would not only be irresponsible but probably put us into bankruptcy relatively quickly! Undeserving because I’ve never understood the term better half fully until this year.
We have been through a lot this past year — some major triumphs and also some major heartache. Navigating the storms of life alongside the storms of marriage grows increasingly complex, but with each expedition our sea legs set us up to not only pursue the marriage that God has designed for us, but also to serve others that are navigating the same waters.
I know that because of the work we’ve put in, I love you today more than the day before. I know that when we role our sleeves up and pursue each other, that you are choosing me. That you are willing to admit that you don’t know what to do, but that you believe that your love for me is stronger than your feelings about a given pain. I feel the same. I love you more than anything that could be thrown at us. I will always choose you.
Your smile, your eyes, your laugh, your energy, your kindness and selflessness, your desire to do right by others, all these things are my safe place. Nothing makes me happier than to see you happy, to feel you light up. This is how I see my future: nothing particular, just you with that smile on your face.
With all my love,
P.S. If you’ve read this far before 2/14/17 you’ve cheated. If not head upstairs and look on the desk. XO