Last spring, while attending the CONNECT Retreat in Rome, Georgia, Caleb + I heard a talk that has been radically impactful on not only our marriage, but our lives in general. I would actually say that the concept we were taught in this presentation more notably affects our individual + personal lives first, + then as a result, our marriage relationship. I cannot think of a better time to share this experience + concept with you.

In her presentation at the retreat, Julia Woods of Beautiful Outcome, shared an old Cherokee Indian teaching tale with us — the story of two wolves. I will not tell the story in great length because I REALLY want you to read this entire post + I know that if it gets too long, you will inevitable “X” out of the screen ; ) In the story, we learn that inside of us all are two “wolves” + they constantly battling one another — one of the wolves is white + one of the wolves is black.

The white wolf is filled with peace, love, hope, courage, humility, compassion + faith.

The black wolf is filled with fear, anger, envy, jealousy, greed + arrogance.

In any battle, there is inevitably a winner. So the question becomes — which wolf is winning inside of you? The white wolf or the black wolf? HOW do you determine this? The answer is simple: the wolf that wins is the wolf you feed. 

Are you feeding anger? Fear? Greed? Or are you feeding love, humility, + compassion? YOU hold the food in the palm of your hand + YOU have the CHOICE over which wolf you are going to feed. The choice to stop feeding one wolf + instead feed the other. Without question, the less you feed a wolf, the quicker it will die. And on the contrary, the more you feed a wolf, the stronger it becomes.

Our awareness of these two “wolves” living inside of us has been revolutionary for Caleb + I. How powerful it is to stop + ask ourselves, “Is this comment feeding the black wolf or the white wolf?” OR “Is this action going to make my black wolf stronger or my white wolf stronger?” These are significant + important questions to ask yourself!! And if you’re anything like us, this Black Wolf vs. White Wolf metaphor is a great place to start <3