Ever since we announced that we were becoming (and now officially are!) licensed foster parents, we have gotten SO MANY questions! I love that this is happening … please know it makes us feel very loved and like you truly care about all aspects of our lives including the business and photography, but also our marriage and our new journey into parenthood! So thank you, from the very bottom of our hearts : )

The goal of today’s post is very simple – to answer the most commonly asked foster care questions, all in one place!

The basics: what ages, how many, gender, etc.?

• As of right now, our home is open to kids ages 0-4. We will accept siblings, up to two kids! We have absolutely no preference when it comes to gender or race.

When will you get a placement?

• We have NO idea! We could get a call as I’m writing this … or it could be in six months. Our caseworker did tell us that the “climate” of our county (Dane) right now is very slow. This is generally a really good thing, as they are not having to take kids into the foster care system : ) Based on this, her guess is that it would be several months before we get a call. Since we are open to taking siblings and there aren’t as many families willing to take siblings, we could get a caller ‘sooner’ rather than ‘later.’

What actually happens when you get a call? Do you know who you will be getting? Do you have a say?

• When we get a call for a placement, we have the opportunity to ask the caseworker any questions we want about the kids they are calling about. Many times, however, the person calling doesn’t actually know a lot about the kids, especially if it is their first time in the foster system. The caseworker will tell us as much as they’re able / they know, and then we have max of about 30 minutes to make a decision — yes or no. If we do not answer when they call, they move on to the next person on the foster parent directory list. This all makes complete sense, as they need to find a home for the kids in need as soon as possible : )

What’s the difference between fostering and adopting?

• I will try to keep this as simple as possible, so know that I am leaving out A LOT of possibilities and information. Fostering is caring for someone else’s child(ren) while they are taking steps to get healthy and be able to take care of their children again; once necessary life changes have been made and the caseworkers involved decide their children can once again live with them. Sometimes, in this process, the biological parent(s) might choose to terminate their parental rights or it may be decided that because the necessary treatment plan steps were not taken, the child now needs to be adopted. So, you can adopt out of the foster system, but the first and primary goal that bio parents / foster parents / caseworkers are working towards together is reunification with the biological parents. Adopting (not involving the foster system) is when a biological parent willingly gives up their parental rights and someone adopts / raises that child as their own.

Are you interested in fostering to adopt?

• Should a child in our care need to be adopted, we would be very open to that.

What agency are you going through?

• Dane County

What does the application process look like and how long does it take?

• I’m sure this looks different in every county / agency, but here was our process:
  1. First, we had a meeting with a Dane County caseworker who explained to us what foster care is and looks like in Dane County; you could also attend an informational meeting that would do the same thing.
  2. Next, we filled out an application and a bunch of paperwork. The state began their prescreening process.
  3. More paperwork followed including fingerprinting, five references, and background checks.
  4. We then had to complete about 20-30 hours of online training (I can’t remember exactly how long it was). The training was broken up into several different modules that included readings and videos, and we also had to fill out some minor “homework” to go along with it.
  5. Once the training was completed, we met with a different state worker who collected our homework, did some additional paperwork, and gave us more info / answered questions we had based on the training.
  6. After this, Caleb and I had to fill out some pretty extensive and thorough paperwork that gave more information on our upbringing, family life, etc. This was called the Structured Analysis Family Evaluation (SAFE Study).
  7. The final part of the process was our four home visits with our assigned caseworker. She will be with us for the entirety of our time in foster care (unless she retires, of course!) and is our go-to person for anything we need. The home visits included a home inspection, lots of “interviews” with her both individually and together, and a bit more paperwork.
  8. Following the home visits, our caseworker had to write up her report on us, submit it to her boss, and then we were approved to be licensed foster parents in Dane County!
• For us, the whole process took about six-seven months (although the average is about four months). Since we started last June during our business season, we did things a bit slower given our general lack of free time, which is why it took a bit longer for us!

Where do you begin if you’re curious about foster care?

We just Googled “becoming foster parents in Dane County” and it took us to the appropriate website, where we learned that before we could do anything else, we needed to attend an informational meeting to learn more about foster care in our county. I remember thinking it felt like a very “doable” way to start.

When you are thinking about becoming foster parents, it can feel extremely overwhelming. At least, that’s how we felt. But — we were still curious about it. Instead of letting the overwhelm freeze us, we decided to take one . step . at . a . time . towards it. And after each step, we would chat and revaluate how each of us were feeling and if we still wanted to keep moving forward.

How much have you invested financially? How much does it actually cost?

It costs nothing to be licensed! And once you get a placement in your home, you do get a stipend from the state each month that is supposed to cover the child(ren)’s basic needs like food and clothing. There is also an initial clothing stipend if it is the child’s first time in foster care.

If you choose to have the child(ren) go to daycare in any capacity (part or full-time), there is also additional funding to help with that though I will say, at least for us in Dane County, it does not cover the entire cost of childcare.

Personally, I would say that so far, we have invested a few hundred dollars. We bought a twin bed and bedding, crib bedding, a changing pad and cover, a baby monitor, some other state-regulated home safety items, and pajamas for each of the different ages we are open to accepting for placement. We have very generous friends who have also gifted us many things as we’ve been preparing our home.

The only true requirement of the state is that you have a designated space for the child(ren) to sleep in when they are placed in your home; this needs to be “ready” at the final home visit and your caseworker will want to see it. Other things that we’ve bought / been getting ready are just by choice, in hopes to make the transition more smooth : )

What’s the hardest part? What are you most nervous about?

I have to preface this question with two things: The first is that I am only speaking on behalf of myself (not Caleb). The second is that I’m CERTAIN this answer will change as time goes on, so right now I’m just going to answer what is true for me in this moment : )

The hardest part for me has been “preparing” for the unknown. Can you even prepare for the unknown?! HA! In general, I am a very organized person; I like to plan, do things with excellence but also as efficiently as possible, and … let’s face it, I struggle when things feel out of control. How fitting that God called us into this? : ) There will be lots of opportunity for growth in my future!

I want to buy the “right” things and have them ready for whoever comes into our home. I want to “know” what daycare the kid(s) will be going to and get that all set up right now while I have time … but I can’t get it set up because, well, we don’t have kids! And we don’t know ages. I want to have food ready for them in the refrigerator and pantry when they get here … I want to figure out who will be our go-to babysitter … I want to know WHEN it’s going to happen so I can actually make some long-term plans without having to worry about canceling them! ; ) Foster care is nearly impossible to “be perfectly prepared for.” I am facing this often ugly and controlling truth about myself and it’s HARD!

To be honest, I’m nervous that if I’m not prepared, I won’t be the best mom I can be.

I’m nervous about the triggers I know tempt me to feel stressed – sudden changes of plans, not getting done what I wanted to accomplish in a day, having to much “to do.” I’m nervous about the big behaviors our kids could have and navigating parenting them. I’m nervous about a lack of sleep!

What makes you most excited?

Watching Caleb be a dad : ) and navigating parenting with him.

Getting to care for kids and be a safe place and source of unconditional love for them. Watching them learn and grow into who God made them to be!