To be 100% honest with you, I had NO idea how becoming a mom would affect my career.

In ways both healthy and unhealthy, owning Maison Meredith Photography has been a really significant part of my identity for the past eight years. So much of our life has revolved around our business; in more ways than you could probably imagine!

I’ve always known that I wanted to be a mom. I think that naturally, when you yearn for something and then it doesn’t happen, that yearning grows – exponentially. As we’ve waited to become parents, my desire to become a mother has felt all-consuming in moments (yikes, this is vulnerable) and as I thought about our future, I honestly didn’t know what would happen to my desire to work as an entrepreneur.

Would I no longer want to run a business?

Would I want to solely be home with our kids?

What will happen?

As I imagined it, I could evision both possibilities. Any of my close friends would tell you that I have always said, “I think I will want to keep working when I’m a mom!” but deep down, I wasn’t sure.

It has been a beautiful unfolding as we’ve had baby E for almost two months and I now take a moment to really step back and look at how I’ve changed and grown already. Gosh, I’m getting emotional writing this! We love her *so much* and I love being a mom. As I reflect, I think that unaware to even myself at the time, I thought — it has to be one or the other. Either I will love being a mom more OR I will love my work more. And because of this made-up dichotomy, I will have to choose.

E has shown me a different way. I love my time with her and I love my time when I get to work. Both are such an important part of who I am as a person. My experience has been that I need both to feel balanced. There is a renewed sense of purpose and perspective in me now and I am so thankful for it. It is powerful. I am thankful that I get to work and I get to be a mom. Both are truly a privilege that I acknowledge and do not take lightly.

In this new and unprecedented season of life, I now yearn for the day when I get to photograph people. For when I get to introduce E to life outside of our home. The waiting is hard, some days much harder than others. But right now, in this moment, I document my gratitude for growth and renewed perspective.

More “personal” posts on the blog can be found here!